Ah, the status update. Your thoughts, feelings, to-dos, latest blog post, project, etc. made visible to several hundred people within a few moments? Cool. So, update wisely. There are good statuses and bad statuses. The following bad statuses, while common, should be avoided.
1. The obscure status
"16 days!!!" ('til what?! Only two of your friends know what it means, and they'll probably say something like "Yeahhh babyyy" which will provoke a 43-comment chat that should've been private in the first place.)
2. The passive aggressive status
"I wonder if I should be like everyone else and say something about the weather." Seriously?
3. The impulsive status
Apply HALT, and don't post when you're excessively Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.
4. The intelligent status
If it's a word you wouldn't use in everyday conversation, don't use it in your status. Think "superfluous" and related words.
5. The play-by-play status
Some of your friends decided this was the day they'd chill out in bed and flip between Judge Judy and something on Lifetime. They check Facebook and see you've showered, eaten a bowl of oatmeal, ran some errands, did 13 loads of laundry, discussed the meaning of life over coffee with someone really important, all in time to make it home to whip up a homemade batch of mini pot pies--brushed with farm-raised egg whites, of course--for some pop-in brunch guests ("and it's only 11 o'clock!"). C'mon.
6. The under-post/over-post
It's not cool to never post, and it's not cool to post too much. A week in the cyber-world is like a 1000 years. No one is holding his or her breath waiting for your next groundbreaking thought or opinion, and the illusion that you're never online isn't cool either. Equally terrible is the every-ten-minutes-post (closely related to the play-by-play post).
7. The pseudo self-deprecatory status
"I'm sooo tired and foggy I can't remember whether I wanted to write another novel or cook a 7-course meal for my family of twelve. Maybe I need some sleep. LOLOLOL."
...which leads us to our next status to avoid:
8. The meaningless/nonsense-modifiers status
Avoid modifying your thoughts with smileys and tension breakers. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
- "I love this weather LOL." (How is that funny?)
- "I love my husband ;)." (Why are you winking?!)
- "ROTFLMBO because it started raining right as I was about to walk my dog." (WHAT?!)
News alert: LOL, due to years of overuse, has lost its meaning. Please discontinue use. Thanks. LOL.
9. The know-it-all status
"Kids these days..." (usual culprits: spoken by kids fresh out of highschool, giddy about a fresh allowance to refer to their history teacher, Mr. Brown, as BOB!)
10: The misused emphasis status
Sure, the best of us have used Tony the Tiger's "Grrreat!" in a post or two. But, be careful about all those letters in a row, especially if they make no sense verbally: "The cccreeper's all uppp on my Facebookkk pageee!"
There are a few statuses you should forgive, namely those of a sick person. It's lonely when you're sick, okay? Forgive the verbal diarrhea if it can be explained with physical diarrhea. It's the pits.