I begin changing my baby’s diaper and watch in slow-motion as my toddler tries to somersault off the couch. I pause and take a moment to decide whether I should continue changing baby’s diaper (to avoid pee or poop on the rug) or rescue toddler from an impending fall. Of course before I come to a decision, my toddler falls off the couch and more or less lands on his head. Baby’s diaper still isn’t fastened. I quickly finish the diaper to go comfort my startled toddler for 0.5 seconds until he’s finished cuddling and ready to move on.
Life with two under two years old–a variety of moments, challenges, and emotions strung together. Joy, exhaustion, laughter, frustration, and just about every other emotion possible. A few days ago, after the fall incident and as the morning wore on, I realized I felt like a ping pong ball bouncing between two boys who just wanted to be kept alive–or at least mildly comfortable. Some of this feeling could be avoided with better planning and maybe more coffee. Nevertheless, I couldn’t help but share this comical portion of the day.
9:45a: Sweep and mop kitchen while toddler finishes morning snack, feel stomach growl and remember to make myself breakfast when I return downstairs.
10:46a: Take first bite of cold/rubbery breakfast with back turned to curious and suddenly starving toddler (where did the last hour go?), set up applesauce-painting station for toddler to buy a few productive minutes.
10:48a: Schlep baby upstairs for nap (one hand holding baby, other hand guiding stair-gate silently closed to not alert toddler of my change in location)
10:52a: Return downstairs to find toddler quickly approaching with applesauce-covered body, stop toddler to clean off applesauce, remove outfit.
10:53a: Watch baby on monitor cry and lose pacifier, go upstairs to pop back in.
10:54a: See that toddler has approached highchair still dirty from snack, stick to guns about no post-snack snacking, race to highchair before toddler to sneakily swipe rejected banana from highchair, casually drop banana in sink, rinse banana slime off hands.
10:55a: Watch baby on monitor cry and lose pacifier, go upstairs to pop back in, return downstairs to see toddler has returned to applesauce-painting station.
10:56a: Clean off naked toddler, look at clock and realize it’s almost lunch time and wonder why I’m cleaning toddler.
10:59a: Watch baby on monitor cry and lose pacifier, go upstairs to pop back in, return to serve toddler lunch.
11:00a: Begin serving lunch, toddler whines for previously rejected banana, magically pluck “fresh and new” banana from kitchen sink, rinse and give to toddler.
11:13a: Watch toddler consume large bites of avocado and develop Hitler mustache, briefly consider posting as Charlie Chaplin mustache on Instagram.
11:15a: Watch baby on monitor cry and lose pacifier, go upstairs to pop back in, find baby confusingly lapping up spit-up puddle, hear emergent whine coming from toddler downstairs.
11:16 or 11:17a: Briefly consider chugging Guinness in fridge.
11:18a: Remain present and relatively calm, convince baby to finally fall asleep, return to toddler to finish lunch and hold out until toddler’s naptime.
12:01p: BOTH KIDS ASLEEP.
12:02p-2ish: Ruminate on the endless options during this free time.
2ish: Toddler stirs, baby stirs, rumination over. Quickly ruminate why I spent most of naptime ruminating.
Ah, what a morning. But–no injuries, a manageable number of tears, and the rest of the day I was sure to keep us all in one room for the most part and exercise to a minimum.
